Guest Review of “The Dark Knight”

John reads and reviews books. I go to the movies. So he invited me to review the one I saw with The Good Wife today. We saw the much anticipated The Dark Knight. It is worthy of the hype.
Heath Ledger as the Joker is the big item, of course. He is as good as discussed on all the talk shows. I got chills a couple of times and jumped more than once. I also laughed a couple of times. After all, he is The Joker. It is not just his antics that are creepy; The Joker’s philosophy and motivation are very scary.
These are still the early days of the Batman, following up Batman Begins. We get to see how Jim Gordon becomes Commissioner Gordon. I love Morgan Freeman all the time. He is great in his supporting role as Bruce Wayne’s techno person. It is strictly a support role, but he gets one of the movies best lines. Michael Caine is even better as Alfred. The girlfriend and the shining DA are perfect.
Someone asked me about suitableness for a 13 year old. There is no sex in the movie beyond a kiss. I remember no vulgarity and the profanities are few and far between. The PG-13 rating is for the movie’s intensity and violence, and not just the bad guys get killed.
The Bat Mobile and the Bat Cycle are big stars.
The problem with the movie, if there must be one, is that it is every bit of two hours and a half. The half tacked on at the end makes it too long. My inner clock had the movie wrapping up when it wasn’t really wrapping.
BatMan is not trouble free. He is, as the title states, the Dark Knight and he has to make some dark decisions. Missing this movie would be a dark decision on your part.
C3
Cecil May III

 

REVIEW: Life After The Death of My Son

LIFE AFTER THE DEATH OF MY SON is the title of a new book by Dennis L. Apple. He is a pastor at College Church of the Nazarene in Olathe, Kansas. Their son Denny lived from 1972 to 1991, when he died unexpectedly in their home from complications of mononucleosis.

Though this book is very different from the previous book I reviewed, it offers a less theological response and hope. There were many tears as I read this account of the effect of Denny’s death on the Apple family. I identified with the author as he attempted to serve as a minister to others while suffering from a broken heart. I noted differences in the way that he grieved and the way that I am grieiving, but as most authors note - everyone grieves differently.

One thing I liked about LIFE AFTER THE DEATH OF MY SON was the raw and honest journal entries that permeate the chapters. Not only has Mr. Apple included many of his own journal entries and poems, but those of his wife and Denny’s younger brother Andrew. The goal of the book is to present ten of the most important things he learned as they struggled through this agonizing loss. The book comes seventeen years after Denny’s passing … which is a long time and offers a deeper perspective than I could ever hope for at this point in our tragedy.

Chapters include:

*Will it always hurt this much?

*Will our marriage survive this?

*Am I losing my mind?

*Where is God?

*I don’t want him to be forgotten

*His birthday is coming…

*I love my church - but sometimes it hurts to be there

*I didn’t cry this morning

*I’m beginning to live again

*A wounded healer?

Each chapter contains journal entires, examples of events that happened through the grief journey, and concepts to help grasp what has happened. It is not a Bible study nor does Apple supply verses of Scripture in his presentation. It is, however, a presentation of faith under extreme duress.

There are several practical helps in the book including a discussion of ways to commemorate the one who has died, things to notice about yourself to measure how your heart is healing, and a chapter describing things to do that accommodate the grief process (not to try to extinguish it, but to “empty the cup of grief”). There are also mentions of The Compassionate Friends and the Legacy website.

I recommend this book to my fellow strugglers on this journey. I think it has a lot of practical information in it that will be of help in the daily experiences.

I particularly liked the way that his church used a Christmas service to commemorate the losses of those for whom the holiday season is a struggle. I will quote one of the ways that they organized to remember Denny called Christmas Night of Remembrance.

Grievers meet in a smaller chapel and take some unhurried time to meditate about the life of their loved ones. The service is usually led by people who have lost someone during the last year. There are songs, Scripture readings, and prayer. The highlight of this night of remembrance comes when each person is invited to stand, say the name of the deceased person, and share one thing he or she will always remember about him or her. ‘Silent Night’ is played softly in the background as the grievers stand to their feet and tell their stories. After the service the grievers are given opportunity to take a luminary and place it on the sidewalk near the street by the church and are given a commemorative Christmas tree ornament with the name of their loved one and the date on it. Later, in the large sanctuary during candlelight communion, there’s special recognition at the end of that service for those who are grieving. After communion has been served and before the benediction, someone will step forward and light a special candle of remembrance. The pastor then invites all persons who have lost someone by death to come forward while everyone sings ‘Silent Night’. All the grievers stand together while the pastor prays the benediction.

This might be a difficult kind of service to attend, but none of us who have lost our loved ones can run away from grief, we must experience it and acknowledge it. Mr. Apple managed to speak to the college graduating class that Denny would have graduated with. He and his wife Beulah have set up numerous support groups for different kinds of strugglers and continue to minister to others out of their pain. I’m so glad there are pictures of their family in the book and a means to communicate with them.

I feel that this book was helpful to me and I recommend it to you without reservation.

Thanks for reading,

John

 

Review: The Wind That Destroys and Heals

On my desk, between two bookends, are several books on the subject of grief. I would guess that there are volumes and volumes written on this most severe storm that has plagued humanity since we were shown the exit door to the Garden of Eden. I have a feeling that as I read through them that they are going to come to some fairly similar thoughts … since there are no answers. I’m not sure if it’s good to read them, or would be better to read something else. I’m not sure what I’m looking for, not sure there’s anything to find.

Except perspective. What happened to us has happened. There is no turning the earth backwards and rewinding time. If that could happen, I would have already done it. Short of that, our heart must come to grips with the reality facing us and gain some perspective that gives us reason and meaning in our ongoing lives.

I think THE WIND THAT DESTROYS AND HEALS by Stephen E. Broyles was helpful in this regard. In the introduction the reader is told, “I offer no quick-fix theology or easy answers. In fact, I offer no help at all in avoiding or lessening life’s pain. … What I offer is a voice crying in the night, the sense of human community in suffering, and the knowledge that healing and wholeness can be born of pain and sorrow.”

Part of the book reveals the long slow struggle with cancer endured by Broyles’ wife Elizabeth. Her eventual passing and his ongoing recovery are the context of the book. On page 12 is a statment that I think casts light upon the rest of his book: “Somehow we must find a way to accept human suffering and mortality without losing our faith in all that is beautiful and strong and good. Or to put it another way, to trust God even when he seems untrustworthy.”

Broyles turns first to the Psalms and the expressions of both suffering and faith. The next chapters look at Job’s plight. In regard to Job, Broyles says, “…When the dust of debate has settled, and the voices of Job and his friends have been brought to silence, we will have progressed no further than this: The pious servant trusts even the seemingly untrustworthy God, and God trusts the servant to remain loyal to him even when there is no longer reason to.”

Finally, Broyles turns to Jesus and points to his suffering. “He prayed to be spared the whole series of miseries: the arrest, the trials, the mocking, the beatings, the crucifixion, the last despairing breath, the burial in the tomb. Three times Jesus prayed , and three times God did nothing….Here is the crux of the cross: Jesus trusted God even when God was silent and unseen.”

As he said, he did not intend in this book to answer all the questions of suffering. He does, however, offer perspective. And that is most needed in times of grief. The last chapter is an excellent list of things you can do when suffering strikes.

The questions for discussion at the end make this a great group resource as well.

Does anyone know how to get in touch with Stephen E. Broyles? My internet search did not turn up anything. I recommend his book to you … it was helpful to me.

Beverly Choate Dowdy’s review of The Wind That Destroys and Heals

Thanks for reading,

John

 

Saturday

I took this picture yesterday in Monroe with my new iPhone. Read sign carefully!

Greetings from a very hot and dry Monroe, Louisiana. What do we expect? It’s July. I haven’t posted in several days … and posting on a Saturday is not a very frugal use of time. Blog readership sinks on weekends. But I have a few minutes so here I am.

We arrived back in Monroe late Wednesday night. It was our intention to be back in time for the Wednesday night class…but that just became impossible. It didn’t help that we got 20 miles on our way and I remembered I had left behind all toiletries and medications. So back we went. And we left again just in time to get into the adventure of driving along with those escaping their workdays at Chevron and Northrup Grumman. Hair-raising…and I don’t have much hair!

Yesterday was national iPhone day….wasn’t it? I wanted an iPhone so badly when they first came out. But the price was so high … and I figured they would improve it with a new version before long. I’ve had some nice phones. My last ‘nice’ phone was one I broke after using it so much following Katrina. It was a flip phone that finally flipped apart! It wasn’t a good time to buy a phone, so I just went in and asked for the cheapest phone in the place (the Danny Dodd philosophy). It has worked well, but very limited in features. Still out there was the iPhone taunting me. I became eligable for an upgrade but news began to stir about a new iPhone for 2008! So, I’ve patiently waited for the day. Yesterday I waited in line with about 50 people. I started about 8:00 … some had been there half the night. About an hour later the staff let us know that the 8g phones were sold out…and some people left. I walked out of the store with my new phone after waiting about 1 hour 50 minutes… not too bad. As the news related yesterday, the Apple website was overcome with 13,000  requests per second, so I wasn’t able to unlock the phone until the afternoon. I’m still learning my way around it.

I would say the biggest event of the year at Forsythe Avenue Church of Christ is DISCOVER. Our Family Minister, Jason Barnard, plans and directs this youth event that draws 800+ people from throughout the region. Some of the best-known speakers and singing groups have been a part of this event. This year the event will feature Dusty Rush and Craig Hicks as speakers, with worship being led by Chris Lindsey and some singers from Rochester Church of Christ. I believe also that Jason is putting some emphasis on adult classes this year as well.

But if you want to keep up with the developing details of DISCOVER, then you need to bookmark Jason’s new blog and check it daily. It is located HERE. I encourage you to plan now to come to Monroe this October … it’s going to be a fantastic weekend!

It is our plan Sunday after worship to have lunch with a couple we haven’t yet met. They run a Compassionate Friends group here. The only entry requirement into this group is to have lost a child. We do continue in our struggle and grief … and I’m sure I will write more about it … but at this point I do not want to write about it every day. I just tell you that to let you know that your prayers are still needed and we love you for caring about us so deeply.

By the way … Craig Hicks is very ill and hospitalized at this moment … and if you would click on his name above and go to his blog and leave a note of encouragement I know he would like it a lot.

Thanks for reading,

john

 

God Works for The Good

We are back in Pascagoula for a few days. Maggy had a doctor’s appointment early Monday morning. We have someone looking at the house this afternoon. Pray that they love it!

Yesterday at Forsythe went so well. Everyone was overly encouraging following the message. I knew it was the right time for me to re-enter the pulpit because I was not anxious about it. With God’s help I brought a message from my favorite chapter of the Bible, Romans 8. I hope to be able to post audio of that message sometime later in the week when we return to Monroe.

We are to have lunch at Nicole’s house today. Looking forward to that.

I posted over 100 pictures of John Robert on my picture page. Most of these are from camp and from church events from the past several years. The link is HERE.

Below are some brief notes from my sermon at Forsythe this past Sunday.

_____

GOD WORKS FOR THE GOOD - Romans 8:28ff

“We Know” - tough words…but true. When life yanked the rug out from under you, your confidence in what you know or do not know is shaken. But here are words of certainty. We know God works for the Good of those who love Him. God works according to His purpose. Two ways God has been at work in your life…

1. GOD IS WORKING TO SAVE US (29-30). He is working to conform to the image of His son. Big themes here describing God’s work in our lives: Predestines - calls - justifies - glorifies. Big picture is that God is moving us toward an eternity with Him in glory. This is God’s work, something we could never accomplish on our own merit.

2. GOD IS WORKING TO KEEP US (31-39). God has gone to great lengths to save us and He works to keep us. He did not spare His own son - a great sacrifice for a largely ungrateful human race. God has paid a great price in order to bring us to glory. God rules above all who will condemn. No matter who judges us, condemns us, tries to destroy our faith, God is stronger and more powerful. God hears His son and Spirit on our behalf. We are not left to our own devices … He is walking with us. He is stronger than all that threatens us (35-39). Since God has saved us, is there anything that can remove us from the safety of His hand? Nothing.

3. GOD IS WORKING FOR OUR GOOD. Four thoughts…

*This is not a promise of paradise here. We are not promised a life without tragedy, crisis, hardship, and suffering. Not even Jesus had paradise here. He was nailed to a cross and killed. Those who promise that God wants us to be rich and have enormous resources on earth if we are faithful are preaching a gospel Jesus could have never taught.

*This is a promise of PRESENCE. Even the valley of the shadow of death, God is with us. Bad things happen in this world … sometimes unexplainably bad. But God has never left our side as we live for Him. He is working to bring about things we cannot imagine. Our journey is to trust Him along the way … not just when things seem really good…but when things turn really bad.

*This is a promise of PERSEVERANCE. Though I am not a believer in the “once saved always saved” doctrine of perseverance, I am also not a believer in the thought that we are easily lost when we sin. Yes, we can walk away from God. But I’m not sure God walks away from us. God created us. He understands we are fickle and weak, we doubt at times, we wonder … but He never leaves. God didn’t save us and keep us on a thread…but on a strong rope with a life preserver attached.

*This is a promise of PASSION. God is not following the instructions in His book dispassionately, he WROTE the book. He is actively working to bring about His will. He is answering prayers. He does not always do what we wish. Like Job we wonder what God is doing … and we wonder why God is NOT doing some things. But in the end we believe in God … not because he gave us what we wanted … but because only He can give us what we need. And because we understand that in our humanity our vision is severely limited as to Divine wisdom.

In this section of scripture we read “We Know” - these are things we know. There’s a lot we do not know … cannot answer. Our faith is in God, though, and not our ability to explain.

_______

Thanks for reading,

John

 

Breakfast With A New Friend

Gilbert Kerrigan at Cracker Barrel

My Saturday got off to a great start. I met fellow blogger Gilbert Kerrigan at Craker Barrel for breakfast and conversation. Gilbert’s blog is A Disciple’s Journey. Yes, I did ask Gilbert what we’d have to do in order to get him to blog more often! Gilbert is the Senior Minister for the Elmwood Church of Christ in Lafayette, Indiana. We had never met, but look forward to meeting again. He is from this area, and still has a lot of family here. So, they visit Ouachita parish occasionaly. We had lots of good conversation that was both personal and ministry related. I hope we’ll get together again next time he is in town. Maybe he’ll preach for us at Forsythe next go-round.

I got a new one today. It said, “Dear friend, I have a project I want you to run with us. It involves exportation of 100,000 barrels of crude oil daily from Kirkuk, Iraq.  If you are interested, email me. Mr.Yan” Mr. Yan must not realize that I do not have a place of my own, much less somewhere to store 100,000 barrels of crude a day. I mean, what would I do with it? If i could produce my own gas and sell it for $2 bucks a gallon I could make a quick fortune. But I don’t know how. Mr. Yan, if you read my blog, please go ahead and find another lucky guy to handle your crude. Or, I can put you in contact someone in Nigeria who would be happy to send you a million dollars just for handling a bank account.

Tomorrow it is my plan to preach at Forsythe for the first time since John died. I told a friend today that I feel like it’s the right time because I’m not anxious about it. This Family of Believers has made things such that we do not feel under any pressure whatsoever. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Thanks for reading,

john

 

Funerals and Fireworks

John Robert, Thanksgiving 2007, in Ruleville

I have not paid consistent attention to e-mail accounts in the past six weeks (yes, it’s been six long weeks). I had let hundreds of e-mails pile up in both my yahoo account and my gmail account. So last night I started going through them, deleting all I could … replying briefly to those that needed a reply. Now I’ve whittled those hundreds of e-mails down to less than 70 e-mails in both accounts. That’s starting to look managable. E-mails are like pieces of paper on your desk that might have a skant piece of information on them so you can’t throw them away, but they begin to accumulate quickly!

In the e-mails there was one from my brother and sister in law, Carol and Johnny, that contained some pictures from last year’s Thanksgiving get-together. In those pictures I found the one above… what I consider to be a great picture of John Robert. I’m so glad I didn’t delete that e-mail several months ago.

I have several CDs to go through of camp and retreat pictures and I’m certain there are several of John in there. I will get to that as time passes.

Today Maggy and I traveled with Mike and Mignon Riley to the funeral visitation of David Burkett’s stepdad. David has personally been such a part of our process of dealing with John Robert’s death and we wanted to be there for him. He and Sharon have been at the funeral home twice in the past few weeks with family members. They are lovely people that have come to mean a lot to us. Unfortunately it felt a bit too soon to be in a funeral home. No matter how many flowers we send or how many people there are to bring cheerful encouragements … there’s still a casket and still a loss. We did not stay long at all, it was just too hard. I’m glad we went … and maybe as time goes by we will be of greater service in loving others in these settings. For now, it’s tough.

It’s July 4th (didn’t you know?) and we have a thunderstorm rumbling through the Monroe area. It’s just gotten dark and perhaps some of the “thunder” are the booms resounding from fireworks on the river. We’re all comfy in our apartment and satisfied to be so. Many a Fourth of July we have been on Beach Boulevard with John Robert watching the fireworks show in Pascagoula. He always wanted some low-grade fireworks to shoot off at our house. I wonder if he can behold the fireworks across the nation tonight in a brand new way? If he can, I know he’s loving that.

Maggy and I spent this afternoon driving some backroads of our parish, enjoying the scenery. We are spending more time together than ever, and that’s a good feeling for me.

Thanks for reading,

 

Catching Up

This picture is a good visual of our journey through grief.

It’s been a few days since my last post … sorry ’bout that. We’ve been staying busy this week. Each afternoon we have been looking at houses. Of course we’re powerless to do much until our house sells on the Coast, but we do have a better idea of what’s in the area for the price range we think we’ll be able to shop within. Mike and Mignon Riley have spent many hours with us showing us the area. Aside form looking at all the houses … their company has been delightful. Monday night after house shopping we had a great meal at Ken and Pam Dorsey’s home, and great conversation.

Tuesday morning I was an early riser and met the elders and Jason for prayer and devotional at the church building at 6:30. I spent a good part of the morning helping secretary Linda with her computer, which had developed a problem or two. While I was in the office catching up on some things that had piled up, Pam Dorsey picked up Maggy and they went to the ladie’s Bible class and then to lunch at Linda Graves’ home. She enjoyed all the ladies and the class very much.

Today’s highlights included a good lunch at BBQ West. Once a month at Forsythe on a Wednesday night they have a meal and conversation together…and that was tonight. It was good food and great company.

On our way up to Monroe last Saturday the a/c in front went out. The a/c in the back was still working, which gave us a little relief. However, the van has been in the shop all week. They’ve had trouble getting the part. They finally got the part, but when they hooked it up, it burned up immediately. So they have to replace the ‘resister’ and the ‘fan’ and maybe it’ll work then. We rented a car for a few days, then borrowed one. It’s the only vehicle we have up here with us … maybe we’ll get it back tomorrow.

That catches you up on all the happenings of our lives. In the course of these events there have been waves of sadness, times of joy. The stories of John Robert’s passing have been published in the Christian Chronicle and the Magnolia Messenger. As a result old friends and acquaintances are just now finding out about our tragedy. We appreciate the renewal of condolences and expressions of sympathy.

Thanks for reading,

john

 

A New Week

Maggy and I had a good Sunday … and a busy one! Worship at Forsythe was a little easier on our hearts this week, as we continue to be wrapped in the love of this sweet church family. Jason did a good job in class and sermon, reflecting on his week in Abiliene. After worship we enjoyed a delicious lunch with Bobby and Jayme Stokes and their family. They are a lively bunch and we enjoyed the humor and conversation around their table. Due to our next venture we had to jump up from the table and make a hasty goodbye!

Mike Riley picked us up at the apartment and took us to Kiroli park (named after the park’s sponsors: Kiwanis, Rotary, Lions clubs). It’s a beautiful park and yesterday was the setting for the Twin City Symphony’s patriotic Independece Day concert. It was a bit overcast and a light breeze was blowing. Ok, it was hot, but not as hot as it could have been. Mike’s wife, Mignon, plays flute in the symphony. It was a great way to spend an hour and the music was first-rate. After the concert we noticed that Richard and Linda Myers were also present.

Mike Riley, Mignon Riley, Linda Myers, Richard Myers, Maggy Dobbs

Micah Harper had an excellent message at the evening service at Forsythe. Afterwards we ate at Pueblo Viejo with the Rileys and the McIntoshes.

It was a full day of fellowship, enjoyment, worship. It was good for our hearts. John Robert was never far away in our hearts or in our conversation.

Thanks for reading,

john

 

His Song

Sometime last summer or the summer before John Robert was with his youth minister Will Collins over at Gary Boswell’s home. Gary is a musician and has some recording equipment. They recorded this song. We enjoy listening to his voice as he sings this song of praise to Jesus. We’re so grateful for that moment when this was recorded.

The Christian Chronicle arrived today with the story of John Robert and others who were killed tragically about the same time. There is enough heartache in this world to go around, isn’t there? I know that many are living with losses that bring them great pain.